10/31/2009

I don't like Halloween.

I'm not sure whether it's from the overhyping of the holiday, the fact that I hate horror films, my hatred of having to place even more sugar in the hands of pepsi-bottled welfare babies, or the fact that I never get invited to any Halloween parties, but Halloween just doesn't thrill me.

I do get a lot of candy, though (especially this year, since the smart rednecks decided to prevent illness and not get out in the nasty weather we had tonight). So maybe it's not completely terrible. I needed an excuse to get my hands on some Reese cups and some Tootsie Rolls (and cupcakes from my neighbor).

=|

I received my confirmation letter for my UE audition. It's in two weeks. November 14th - the day after my visit.

I am officially nervous as hell. Not just about that audition, but everything: Dormness, my Repertoire List, and the people. Oh, the people. I'm not sure what makes me more nervous: meeting new people or meeting familiar faces outside of my comfortable world of Skype.

I really need a hug (and an action plan!)

Ugh.

I'm never going to graduate. I don't understand why we have to miss school because half the student body thinks it'd be fun to skip school to see what the administrators do.

Ignorance and stupidity really pisses me off. Oh, eastern Kentucky, how I long to escape your treacherous clutches...

Weekend.

Okay, so I'm still mad at myself over Friday. I know I could've done better in there, but the DAMN SCHOOL SYSTEM and their FRICKIN' ATTENDANCE POLICY has caused me to become sick. I'm going to sleep with a humidifier every night until all of my auditions are over.

Ah, I'm trying not to worry about it. The rest of JC10 might be deadbeat sex maniacs, but I'm actually going to make something of myself.

FML

At this very moment, I would be thrilled to just punch myself in the face and call it a day. I am SO angry with myself that I can hardly stand it. I cried halfway home.

So angry right now, that I don't even feel like talking about it on here. Mainly because it'd sound either like a pity party or make me sound retarded, but I'm still angry about it.

I don't care what anyone else thinks: I seriously am the Special Olympics of GSA. Ugh.

Infatuation

Well, I'm not sure who is actually reading my blog or whatever, but I think I am infatuated with a boy for the first time in a long while... since most people I know have a "theme song" for this type of thing, I believe I will share the first half of a song that I personally believe parallels my mindset at the moment.

"Fallin' For You" (Colbie Calliat)

I don’t know but

I think I may be

Fallin’ for you

Dropping so quickly

Maybe I should

Keep this to myself

Waiting ’til I

Know you better

I am trying

Not to tell you

But I want to

I’m scared of what you’ll say

So I’m hiding what I’m feeling

But I’m tired of

Holding this inside my head

I’ve been spending all my time

Just thinking about ya

I don’t know what to do

I think I’m fallin’ for you

I’ve been waiting all my life

And now I found ya

I don’t know what to do

I think I’m fallin’ for you

I’m fallin’ for you

I know I shouldn't ignore my feelings, but I think I need to, just this once. I've decided I'm never going to jeopardize a good friendship ever again after the J. S. ordeal from the end of junior year. The best part is, this is a secret I'm going to keep to myself, so none of you will ever know... ;-)

Today will be kind to me.

Firstly, I'm proud of myself because not only am I civil with a *certain* person, I can also hold a decent interesting conversation with them as well.

Currently, however, I'm at the Microtel in Bowling Green getting ready for NATS at WKU this morning. I'm kinda nervous, but I know I'm going to do well (or at least that's what I believe). I'm also pretty frickin' excited because NATS is a huge deal, what with all the college professors and such.

Today is gonna be a good day.

College Calling Marathon of 2009

Okay, so I just had what I like to call a "College Calling Marathon." I needed to call Florida State University, Baldwin-Wallace College, and University of Evansville. One to fix my application, one to confirm whether I needed to actually audition or not, and one to set up a visit.

I'm pretty sure I confused the admissions office at FSU. I went through, like, three people to get everything in order. It's not that they're dumb, I'm just a difficult person (not rude/obnoxious difficult, just confusing difficult). I finally got my application confusion sorted out, though, so I feel much better about it. =)

Next on the list was my call to Baldwin-Wallace. I didn't expect to have a long conversation; I only had a question about whether I had to audition for music therapy or not and whether I could double-major in the conservatory. The woman I spoke with was very kind, and although she offered to let me speak with a student, I declined (it didn't really answer my question, so I didn't find it necessary - yet). I got my answers and hung up.

Finally, I needed to call UE and make my visit appointment for next month. Obviously, knowing the person I am, I get really nervous when I need to make important phone calls. I dialed the number and I was shaking. The receptionist answered and directed me to the admissions office, and the admissions director transferred me to the woman in charge of visiting. After the visit lady answered the phone, I definitely had eased my anxiety a little bit. So I made my little appointment for the Friday before my audition and I officially got excited because that means I can unofficially be a college student for a day. =)

The day is getting closer. I can't wait.