Thursday, November 26, 2009

T-Giving.

Thanksgiving timeee. Is 2009 really almost over? Good Lord!

I slept through the parade. Well, except when Cheyenne Jackson was singing and when Santa ended the parade. But I was one tired kid. Sorry, NBC! At least my TV was on the whole time, so you can record a view, eh? ;-)

Dinner was lovely. I don't eat much (especially in the middle of the afternoon - this will be changed come T-Giving 2010), but I ate enough to make everyone happy. Because we're so cool, we had chicken instead of turkey. I beasted my plate; almost everything was gone. My cousin, Jade, came over to have dinner with us. Jade, Mom, and I went to see New Moon. We weren't very impressed. The best part of the movie was Taylor Lautner. And by Taylor Lautner, I mean Taylor's abs (T-Swizzle is one lucky bitch). I've concluded Stephenie Meyer is a freaking genius; how does she market such a shitty book series so well? The thought baffles me.

I'm thankful for my friends (specifically MT and the other special folk [you know who you are] ). But, I'm also pretty freakin' thankful for Taylor Lautner's abs.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Hm.

Oh look, I'm talented.



Monday, November 23, 2009

Obscure.

I find the most obscure similarities between my life and the chorus of Martina McBride's "How Far":

How far do I have to go to make you understand?
I wanna make this work so much, it hurts, but I just can't
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are
So I'm gonna walk away,
And it's up to you to say how far...

I'm not sure if other people find the same things, but I relate it to my now-nonexistant relationships with a few people. Oh, and I'm currently working on this song because I'm feeling a GarageBand session... Wood demands I sing this for him...

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

References.

You know you miss MT when one of your vocabulary sentences is, "I'm sure that the Roman Empire only entered the abyss because Latin scholars never employed use of words such as supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."

Ah, MT09. <3

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Breathe.

Breathe Me - Sia

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
I hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Ouch

I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Restored.

I made tons of friends this summer. Some are pretty fair-weathered, but I have a few that I will never forget. Unfortunately, I'm not very sure if these people feel obliged to be my friend, or if they even care about me.

Today, however, I have finally found the one person who believes in me. Or, at least believes in me long enough to make me a little more sane. This friend is in that same group of summer buddies: Someone I thought I would lose touch with throughout the year simply because I don't see him very often. But, because I'm such an annoying little shit (it's apparently true - ask E****!), I decided to type a simple "hi." into Facebook chat. He replied, and asked me what was up...

I froze. No way I can tell people how I really feel, not even on Facebook, where they can't see or hear me. I couldn't tell him that my mother is convinced that I'm a failure because I refuse to be like everyone else, that I'm beginning to doubt my own self. But, knowing I can't lie, I told him the truth.

Luckily, I've finally found someone I can talk to about all this stuff who doesn't tell me to do one thing or the other. He informed me I can indeed do what I would like to do, and that I am not and never will be alone in this situation because it's perfectly normal. He told me that he believed in me and that as long as I believe in myself I will always be successful in my own eyes and that's what's most important.

I cried the entire time. Partly because I was sad, but mostly because this is probably the first time since GSA that I've met someone who believes in me more than I believe in my own self. I think this kid is my new best friend.

Thank you. You will never realize how important you are to me.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Evansville: Day Two.

So anyway, after I woke up on Friday morning, I was slightly excited. Biiig day ahead; y'know, the one where I get to tour campus and go to a million classes and whatnot. So I was obviously nervous, too.

The first thing I did was go to Theory class. I was incredibly confused. The professor was interesting and all, but I had NO idea what he was talking about. Music majors are nice, but nothing like theatre majors. I met with one of the music therapy professors and she was really cool. I really think that I would like majoring in MT here - it seems like one of the departments that they really take pride in.

The second half of my academic tour was with the Theatre department. I was pumped. I went to Pro Tech - none of us know why the performance major got sent to PT but I made some awesome friends. I went to lunch with K****. She's really nice. We're Facebook friends now. =) And I even managed to find something to eat - and those of you who are reading this probably already know that I'm the pickiest eater on the planet!

Theatre majors are so interesting. Everyone is so different but everyone also loves each other. I was telling K**** about how where I'm from, I'm sort of an oddball. She told me not to worry, that "we're all oddballs, too, so you'll fit right in." Probably the greatest quote ever.

So anyway, after lunch and whatnot I went back to tour the theatre building. It was really neat to get to see all the aspects of production - I usually don't get the chance to, so this was really interesting to me. I met with the head of the Theatre department and he was awesome. I could tell he enjoyed what he was doing and he seemed like he was proud of his students. That made me really happy, too. I left his office completely ready for acting class, which was next on my schedule.
I had acting class with the freshmen. I met C**** in person. We were excited. He told me what they had been doing so I wouldn't be confused or anything. Love that kid - he's kind of the person who told me about UE in the first place so I'm pretty glad we randomly met on Facebook now. (Thank gawd for mutuals!!) So anyways, acting was interesting. The professor was cool (plus I got to tell him where I live using JWT as a landmark, and that's always fun). I paid attention the entire time. Improv is SO intense - aurhghhhhhh! I spoke with he other prospective that was in there with me and we were both just completely in awe. After acting, C**** walked back to the admissions office with me (such a gentleman!) and I did the typical campus tour.

I am in love. I HAVE to go to UE. It is a dire necessity.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Evansville: Day One.

On Thursday, November 12, 2009, my mother picked me up from school and we climbed in the car and set off on our newest adventure: Evansville, Indiana. Mission? To visit the University of Evansville (aka my first choice school).

Things started off pretty well: Being the hopeless shopaholics we are (and because I needed a top to go w/ my audition skirt!), we stopped at the mall. My phone began to ring. (the following is my actual ringtone. I made it all by myself. It's amazinggg.)

*a moment, a love, a dream, a laugh...*

I looked at the caller ID and the area code was pretty foreign to me; I'm used to the 502's, the 859's, and obviously the 606's. But this was a new one: 812. I answered the phone and it was the UE admissions office asking where I was because my overnight was on the 12th and I was supposed to be there at three. I freaked. When my nerves get the best of me, I get hot and start shaking and sweating. This freakout was no different. Luckily, we patched it all up (my letter was incorrect) and we hitched up the old buggy for the remainder of I-64 we had to endure.
I hadn't MapQuested the directions to the university, either, so I began to get a little concerned. I flipped my campus map over and, lo and behold, there was a gorgeous map of the interstate highways and important streets we needed to take to campus. I turned my map-reading skills on and I (luckily) navigated us the entire way to campus without much trouble (except for the passing up the entrance part, but that was only by a few feet!).

We parked the car, I got my stuff together, and journeyed into the admissions office, where I met my host. Her name is Melinda. She's a total sweetheart and we really got along well. Plus, she got me donuts for breakfast the next A. M., which I find pretty admirable. I went to an Admission Ambassadors meeting and an intramural volleyball game with her (I had absolutely no idea what was going on in that game, BTW). I met a lot of sorority girls. I think I'm going to rush next year (as long as I go to UE; I don't like big schools' Greek systems). I met a TON of people, and it barely phased me. Usually, I'm quiet and tense around large crowds of people I don't know - I guess I'm getting a little less afraid of people.

My overnight was awesome, though. I'm going to post about the rest of this in another entry because I'm tired and I have senior pictures tomorrow.

<3

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

11/12/09.

I'm leaving at noon today. It's so weird to think it's finally time for me to audition for colleges and whatnot...

I'm really nervous and I'm not sure what's going to happen over the next few days. When I get home, I'll post another blog, but for now, I'll leave you wondering whether my small body can handle the nerves this Evansville trip is going to bring.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

OH!

Oh, Christopher Walken. Oh, Lady Gaga. Oh, Youtube genius who created this gem.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

7 days.

In exactly one week I'll be in Indiana. Not gonna lie: I'm pretty frickin' stoked.

But, I'm also still kinda nervous. I'm afraid to talk because I'm afraid no one will understand me. I'm afraid my repertoire list won't be impressive enough. I'm afraid I'll end up not liking campus after all. I'm afraid of getting hurt.

I could go on, but Im afraid the list would be too long. [cheesy pun? check. diminished nerves? empty check box (for now).]

Monday, November 2, 2009

I miss GSA.

My FB Chat notification noise just went off. I received an IM from a pal from this summer. She told me that I was not alone.

It's people like her that make me smile. Little reminders from people I don't necessarily expect to think about me make me feel so much better about my life.

Frustration.

stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid


Whyyyy do I ruin everything? Ughh. FML, big time.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

A letter of apology.

Dear Mrs. Fultz,

I'm sorry I'm probably going to bomb my APUSH test 3rd period. Funny story, actually; see, I have a lot of cats, and they're pretty dysfunctional. They decided it'd be appropriate to spill a gallon of bright green paint all over the dining room floor for my disabled grandmother and I to clean up in the wee hours of the morning. I'm currently running on very little sleep, so simply nudge or prod me if I begin to nod off during this period. I promise I'm going to try really hard on this test. I mean, I'm good at history; I can't bomb too badly, right?

Your Favorite (and only) Senior in 3rd Pd. APUSH,
Michaela Tussey

P.S.: Thank God for weighted grades!

P.P,S. (Edit): Thank God for extensions, too.

APUSH + Musical Theatre = <3

I love doing my APUSH homework while listening to Parade and Ragtime. Both musicals make me cry; partly because of the material, but the brilliance of the two pieces is just overwhelming.

I need to go to NYC really soon. I NEED to see Ragtime! (maybe I can see Lady Gaga in NY instead?)